I am reading a book recommended by my Auntie Kathy called Bird by Bird, Some Instructions on Writing and Life. Author Anne Lamott has been keeping me company on my return to Brazil, making me chuckle, even laugh out loud with her insights. Speaking of which, Lamott discusses how every writer's first draft is shitty. But the beautiful thing is that nobody needs to see it. We just need to write out our ideas and get them down on paper, no matter how ugly or shitty it may look. Great, I agree, but what about in life? Does this work in the same way? Can we write a second draft? A final?
I have come to find that I pretty much do everything wrong the first time. You know, like putting the car into reverse instead of first gear when I was first learning shift...on the freeway...three times. Or, bringing a new activity to my class and half-way into the lesson, seeing it not working. Or, saying things without thinking that really offend good friends. Or giving too much attention to a guy who could care less. Oh the list goes on! So, do we get a second draft? Can we scratch that out of our memory? We can't really, but we do get chances to do things again. If we can be a little easier on ourselves, a little more lighthearted about it all, we can shake off those first drafts and try a second time. If I can remember that life isn't about only me, but that I make up a piece of this Life game, it's a bit easier to try getting on the freeway again. It's easier to stand in front of a class again. It's much easier to be humbled and ask for an apology from a friend. And it's darn refreshing to open your heart to another lucky boy.
All this being said, we are all writing first and second drafts, all the time. Rather than in writing, we also expose these drafts to everyone around us, leaving us in quite a vulnerable place. So I say, be easy on your colleague, neighbor, friend, brother, lover, and help them make that second draft better. Encourage them to keep improving their drafts over and over. That is, we could all help each other be better-versions-of-ourselves day in and day out. Who's in?
I have come to find that I pretty much do everything wrong the first time. You know, like putting the car into reverse instead of first gear when I was first learning shift...on the freeway...three times. Or, bringing a new activity to my class and half-way into the lesson, seeing it not working. Or, saying things without thinking that really offend good friends. Or giving too much attention to a guy who could care less. Oh the list goes on! So, do we get a second draft? Can we scratch that out of our memory? We can't really, but we do get chances to do things again. If we can be a little easier on ourselves, a little more lighthearted about it all, we can shake off those first drafts and try a second time. If I can remember that life isn't about only me, but that I make up a piece of this Life game, it's a bit easier to try getting on the freeway again. It's easier to stand in front of a class again. It's much easier to be humbled and ask for an apology from a friend. And it's darn refreshing to open your heart to another lucky boy.
All this being said, we are all writing first and second drafts, all the time. Rather than in writing, we also expose these drafts to everyone around us, leaving us in quite a vulnerable place. So I say, be easy on your colleague, neighbor, friend, brother, lover, and help them make that second draft better. Encourage them to keep improving their drafts over and over. That is, we could all help each other be better-versions-of-ourselves day in and day out. Who's in?
